Does Santa Claus Use Cannabis?

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Does Santa Claus Use Cannabis?

The cannabis culture is rife with misinformation and urban legends. But one recent rumor has conservatives and traditionalists ruffled: Santa is a weed smoker. In this exclusive interview, Higher Learning LV sat down with Kris Kringle, a.k.a. Saint Nikolas to ask him about the rumor.

Could it be true? Could the nascent yet beleaguered cannabis industry claim Saint Nick as one of its most high profile customers, alongside Snoop Dogg and Seth Rogen?

He wouldn't let us take his picture.

Does Santa Claus Use Cannabis?: The Interview

Does Santa Claus Use Cannabis? In early December of 2023, Higher Learning LV technical writer Toshi Yamaguchi sat down with Kris Kringle to clarify the rumors about his marijuana use. The in-person interview occurred in Michigan (just north of Detroit), where Kringle owns a dispensary. Kringle would not allow us to capture his photo (his ongoing policy; stock image above).

Toshi Yamaguchi: "Mr. Kringle, thank you for taking the time to talk with us today."

Kris Kringle: "No problem. I was doing inventory at the dispensary anyway. Besides, misinformation sucks, so I enjoy clarifying things with fans and followers."

TY: "Sir, the pot industry is not very healthy right now. Traditionalists say that founders and industry thought leaders are, in desperation, claiming that you consume marijuana simply to bolster their own stock values and gain some PR advantage. What is your response?"

KK: "Well, I'm probably biased, seeing as how I already own a dispensary and am thinking about opening shop in Florida. I also own 35 percent of a processing facility in California. Just wanna disclose that up front."

TY: "Of course."

Does Santa smoke weed?

KK: "First off, merely because I have industry investments isn't why I consume. Business is business and personal is personal. I also own a mediocre Chinese Restaurant in Las Vegas. But I would never eat there."

TY: "Fair enough. But our readers are eager to know: Does Santa consume? And, if so, how? Are a million CGI social media memes of Santa smoking a doobie while eating milk and cookies accurate?"

"Yes, I do consume weed. My favorite form, quite honestly, is infused beverages. I also like dabbing wax."

KK: "I do consume weed, what you young people like to call cannabis. Probably not quite like everyone thinks or imagines. But I do. My favorite form, quite honestly, is infused beverages. You know, the type that use nanoemulsion technology to take the onset period from two hours down to about 20 minutes. I'm a busy guy; I don't have two or three hours to wait for my meds to kick in.

"Yes, I smoke. But much less than I used to. Me and Willie Nelson have that in common. I really like my Volcano vaporizer and use that with a certain frequency when I'm puttering about at my North Pole residence.

Santa prefers infused beverages.

But on Christmas eve, obviously my busiest day of the year, I have a small fridge built into the sleigh. It's perfect for infused beverages and concentrate (the stuff melts when I'm anywhere south of Tijuana!). Given my travel schedule, I use a mobile nectar collector and some nice wax from my dispensary. I'm a fan of the Lookah Seahorse Pro. It's easy to clean."

TY: "Where do you stand on the alt cannabinoid controversy? Do you support and consume newcomers like delta-8, delta-10, and HHC—all of which are naturally occurring, but typically sourced from hemp-derived CBD?

KK: "I don't think the issue is the alt cannabinoids. I think it's the crap that gets mixed in with the alt cannabinoids when the chemistry gets skewed and fly-by-night companies cut corners. It's just like butane hash oil (BHO): Garbage in, garbage out. Sloppy production practices and lack of concern for consumer health are driving the current outrage toward alt cannabinoids. Not any inherent deficiency or problem with the alt cannabinoids themselves.

"But that's just my opinion."

TY: "So it's that simple? You smoke a little, prefer to vape on a Volcano, and usually have an infused beverage or nectar collector in your hand?"

"I smoked with Tommy Chong once, but he didn't know it was me. I had street clothes on. Mel Brooks was the most fun to smoke with, but he didn't believe it was me."

KK: "That's pretty much it. Now that Mrs. Claus has passed, I'm not big into partying. I like to medicate and then putter in my workshop. I smoked with Tommy Chong once, but he didn't know it was me. I had street clothes on. Mel Brooks was the most fun to smoke with, but he didn't believe it was me."

TY: "If infused beverages are your thing, what brand?"

KK: "I like Cantrip and Incognito, but also many others. I love to experiment with new brands and new products."

TY: "Thank you for taking the time to talk to our students and readers, Mr. Kringle."

KK: "You're welcome. And by the way, I enjoyed your article about CBD for dogs. I liked it so much, I put you guys on the Nice list."

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